The day of reckoning has arrived. . .

Summertime in Southern California.  Temperatures are kicking up into the triple digits and at 6 in the morning the thermometer is almost up to  80 degrees. The air conditioner runs endlessly to cool the place down and it's depressing to watch the electric meter wheel spin so fast its a blur, costing me a nickel a turn. This being year 4 of our 20 year predicted drought, there's little green grass and shade to hide away from the heat in and by late afternoon, the cool ocean breezes have been super heated to hotter than Hades and only serve to dry up the sweat in time for more to spill down the forehead.

Lucky for me, I have myself a "Cement Pond" in the yard and intend to make good use of it. My outdoor fridge is stocked and umbrellas strategically placed around it to provide shaded water spots for swimming and soaking.

The day of Reckoning has arrived. . . .

Time to dig out the bathing suit and strut out to the pool. Finding the suit was no problem. Getting it on was another issue. I refuse to buy a $200 piece of spandex with straps so I keep making do with my bargain suit from WalMart...retail price $24. As I step into it, the realization that it has either shrunk or I have grown is grossly apparent. Perhaps I have grown taller? The shoulder straps  elongate but my bosom isn't even covered a little and there is an uncomfortable wedgie effect that is disconcerting.  I appear to be wearing a boxer or weight lifters leotard from the 1920's. Obviously this suit is inappropriate for public wear. I'd like to think that the recent weight loss led to firm thighs and abdomen, but my toned and sexy legs have been taken over by an anorexic elephant and the thighs are creasing around the knees. . . however, if I lie flat on my back and kick my legs up into the air, they appear to be the former toned and muscled thighs of yesteryear. (which I think was only 2 years ago!).

Finding the bathing suit that hides the imperfections, accentuates the better than average ones and crushes the jelly belly rolls into one smooth surface is a tough find. Wearing an oversized T-shirt is helpful, but not conducive for swimming laps. I have a skort suit with a tank top, but when I swim laps, the skirt comes up to my chest and the top rolls up to my neck.

Standing in the water, the skirt of the suit floats around me like a swim ring and I'm thinking little weights should be sewn into the hem of it to keep it submerged and hide the fact that I'm wearing a skirt suit or masquerading as a donut. So now I stand in my bargain one piece bathing suit, contemplating my next choice of bathing wear that would be socially acceptable in all swimming holes and beaches. I feel bad for us girls. There's a lot of prep involed getting into any kind of swim wear. Shaving, waxing, peeling, moisturizing, shoving, pulling , tugging. The list is endless. And what about the hair? Once its wet, the day is over. No way am I going through another hour of teasing and spritzing it into some kind of hair do. 

Worked up a sweat just prepping for the pool. I wiggle out of the crushing, too small one piece, put on a pair of grannie-panties and a tank top and I am good enough for my own back yard. This swim get up will motivate me to butterfly more laps . I'll cover up with a sarong or bed sheet if any one comes over.  Don't judge me. Join me.  I'm coolin' and floatin' in my cement pond.