shuffle -ball- change- slide

The Expedition was so dirty and vision out the front windshield blurry and marred by various dead things squished on it. The thought to wash the car on the front lawn crossed my mind, but its Friday and that is the forbidden day to water anything except your pets and children in this town due to the ageless drought. Also, today my street is having work done on a drainage line, and there are plenty of city workers idly standing around with nothing to do except report on water wasters so I'm not risking the citation.

Car Washes are plentiful here, so headed toward the nearest one where I'm offered the "deal of the day detail" for only $10 more than my regular wash. Okay. Why not? I am made of money and maybe a little extra rubbing and spritzing on the old Ford will make it appear shiny and new again.

After 45 minutes of rub activity, my vehicle is ready. Tire detailer is honking my horn and spinning his little blue rag (which doesn't seem to be dirty enough if its been on my wheels). Doubt he has applied much elbow grease in the cleaning effort and start making calculated deductions off his tip dependent on the deficiencies visible to my eye. As I'm walking toward him, I hit a slick spot and start the shuffle-ball change slide in my flip flops. Horrified that I may fall and create a scene in front of this crowd of people I'll never see again, I find my balance and glide toward my car like Dorothy Hamill, or maybe a hockey puck - my arms outstretched and ready to be caught if needed. Well that bubble burst real quick as all the little worker bees scatter away and the one holding the car door and his spinning towel pulls open the door wide and stands behind it, using it like a shield to protect himself from my formidable form. As I reach the door and grab on to it,  He says, "careful lady". CAREFUL??? I comment about the slippery pavement in both English and Spanish and hand him the laminated claim card with tip attached. Nodding, he accepts it,  saying "thank you lady ma'am".

Well , at least I got thanks if not caught. I step up into the Expedition forgetting that the step has been waxed slick, and make a grab for the steering wheel to keep me on my feet. Grapple my way into the drivers seat, which has also been waxed slick and slide out onto the pavement, back into the unmoving towel spinner who keeps his arms to his side not helping. Roll my eyes at him and say, "wow! This is so slippery! It's dangerous! I fell right out! Did you see that?", to which he replies, "Careful lady ma'am. Yes. Have a nice day".

He isn't even phased by my  second exaggerated eye roll and mutterings. I know he thinks I must be intoxicated because I can't stay in the car on my own. Make another attempt to enter the car and take off my flip flops which must be coated in spray wax  from off  the concrete they are so slippery, toss them ahead of me and try it barefooted , easing into the car and grabbing the seat belt until I'm secured in. Towel guy is lightening speed shutting the door to keep me inside.  Take a deep breath now that I'm  strapped to the seat safely and in one piece, smelling the cheap pina colada air freshener and wishing the drink would appear in my hand with an umbrealla pick full of pineapple.

 Now THAT would be very good customer service. I'll just add that to my comment card and drop it into the box .