I've exercised and I can't get up.

I went for a walk in the park the other day with my power walking friend. She is a pillar of health and strength and had already walked 2 miles to meet and motivate me to walk  with her. I used to be an avid walker, but since the knee blew out and lost all of its cartilage and I'm too stubborn to have it replaced with bionics, I can't go walking like I used to. Dear girl is all encouragement and smiles.

So we begin our walk . It's early, early morning and cool out. Overcast and no sun beating down on me.   I'm pumped. I can do this. I used to do it 3 times a week for years with no problem.

I begin the walk going up-hill. No effort at all- until we  reach the 100 yard mark. Now I'm hot. I'm panting. I cannot talk and walk but that's okay, my friend is doing all the talking and pretends  she doesn't notice me counting the steps until the hill is over. After 200 yards, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever thought I could just start walking like by gone days  on the spur of the moment. I should be working myself up for it.

At 250 yards, I tell my friend that I need to stop and pant for a bit at the stop sign ahead. At 300 yards, I see the stop sign is still another 100 feet away and just stand there on the curb panting and sweating. Apologize to my friend, but she is still  smiles and encouragement , carrying on pleasant conversation, but I know she is regretting that her power walk has turned into a stroll and she is nearly jogging in place waiting for me to continue.

I know that at the top of this endless hill there is a fire station full of firemen and paramedics so I decided to hold off on the heart attack until I got within sight of them. I forgot my phone-otherwise I could have dialed ahead and ordered my resuscitation.

We circle the massive park, overstepping the billions of snails trying to escape their dried up brush  for moisture across the path to freshly watered lawn, and work our way back up hill to the parking lot where just glimpsing the blue of my car in the distance gives me hope and a surge of energy to finish off what's left of my knee. It's been nearly an hour and I am sopping wet, a hot mess,  even though it's cool enough for my friend to wear a sweat shirt . I'm gulping my water as if I've just been released from the Mojave dessert. My friend is still smiling, not a lick of sweat on her brow or staining the shirt front, back, or pant legs of her outfit. I am all done in. No cardiac arrest but  I'm going to take some aspirin to prevent any blood clots from forming just in case. My blood isn't used to this much stimulation this early in the day.

I'm skipping the coffee and going for the diet coke as soon as I get home. I need a nap . A massage. A margarita.

My friend is kind and understanding. I doubt she'll be calling for a repeat of the day. The brush with death too close.  It was touch and go there if she'd have to carry or drag me to the car. As I bid her good day and thanked her for the bonding time, she jogs off, another  2 miles up hill to her house and I gladly jump into my car and coast 2 miles down hill toward mine. If there is a next time, I'm going to bring an electric scooter and wear an emergency responder button. "I've exercised and I can't get up!"