Mrs. Kravitz North....This is Mrs. Kravitz South

Here is my telephone conversation with my neighbor last night. Fairly typical exchange for us.

"Mrs. Kravitz North....This is Mrs. Kravitz South. Reporting on neighborhood activities on your side of the street. There are children running along the roof tops of the houses and they are preparing to leap across to yours!"

Mrs. Kravitz North is perplexed. "Why are they doing that?"

Mrs. Kravitz South - "It is my job to observe and report, not to determine the reasoning behind wild and unsafe behaviors. Please control your side of the street better."

Mrs. Kravitz North- "I'm going outside now. You are right. Those kids are on the roof. They are hiding from me. "

She waits the for the kids to expose themselves. They haven't developed stealth mode well. Now she is telling the kids this is unsafe behavior and where are their parents and do they know they are running along roof tops? The kids tell her yeah, dad knows and its okay. They are warned to stay off her roof and their own. . . it being a rental and all belonging to our friend.

I 10-4 ' over and out' after my report.

1 hour later. . .

"Mrs. Kravitz North, this is Mrs. Kravitz South.....Your tweaker next door to you is out and about with his pants cinched around his lower thighs and having a difficult time walking . He needs better boxer jockeys. He looks ridiculous! I think he may fall over onto your side of the lawn."

Mrs. Kravitz North says, "What is going on? Is it a full moon? Why can't these neighborhood people  just be normal?"

"Sorry Mrs. North. I think this is it for them. Welcome to the new normal. How is my side of the block?"

"I have nothing to report. All of the lights on your side are out. It's dark . We need night vision goggles."

Me - On it. Amazon.com has next day delivery. We will rendezvous at 2100 hours tomorrow.

Neighborhood watch is ramping it up!