. . . and we're all going to be okay.

The dreaded computer and I just don't get along. It is a piece of technology that baffles and eludes me and it has begun showing up every where I go. I'm in combat mode at work as I try to maneuver between screens and screens of charting and filling in the blanks as appropriate. Disconcerting to me as I fall further and further behind in my nursing duties due to having to continually update the computer system. It is practically tied to me and as the months with it progress, more computer work is demanded and less time to spend with my patients. Nursing has changed. The time to linger at the bedside and have a meaningful conversation with the patients is no more. The staff rushes through bedside care and interactions are abbreviated. This becomes so frustrating to those of us who love the patients and loathe the computer.

It was a particularly busy and stressful day. Tasks are piling up and my computer is flashing red signs at me that I'm failing. I've been in prayer all day to God to help me through this awful day, help me to ease the suffering of those who rely on me and appease the management staff who seem to focus solely on productivity via computer, not real hands on. I am becoming stressed out, something I try to tamp down while at work on a busy hospital unit, and begin to tell myself, "You're okay. You're okay.".

Apparently I was saying this out loud without knowing it and a doctor passes by, stops, and asks me, "Are you okay?". Embaressed to have been heard talking to myself, I tell him "yes!". He put his hand on my shoulder and asked, "are you praying? Will you pray for me too? I need it today."

I've never met this physician before and haven't seen him since that day, but I told him of course I would pray for him. . . and me. . for a safe day , a successful day and a calmer day. He thanked me and said he would be in the OR for a few hours.

I forgot that my fate was already in Gods hands, and got some help from the staff to point me in the right direction on the computer program. The day got much better.

Winding down the shift, thankful that home was just up the street and minutes from heading in that direction, the doctor walked by on his way out. He asks, "Are we okay? " I nodded and said, "much better. We are okay".

He thanked me for the prayers and I thanked him for the same. He is tired and nodding, but smiling as he squeezed my arm and said good-night.

I realize that I am exactly where God wants me to be. As long as I listen to Him, and stay on my path, I'm doing the right thing. Praying away the computer and my problems with it were not the answer. Accepting it and pushing through with help and humility was.

So friends, give it up. Trust in God. You are loved. And even on the worst days of your lives, He is there. . .  ready to answer prayer and always with a forgiving heart. . . . and we're all going to be okay.