Surviving the DMV

I have survived the DMV. (Department of Motor Vehicles.)

Known for its rude employees and obnoxiously long lines in this So. Cal. area, I dreaded the trek there to replace my stolen drivers license. It's recommended to make an appointment, but the first available was five weeks away! The lines at the Norco DMV are well known to wrap around the building, and that's just the line to get a number. I started asking around for the best strategies to reduce the wait times, which, after reading YELP, were hitting 3 to 4 hours. Frustrating and a chunk of life you'll never get back.

The day started at the doctors office where I was being worked in to a already full schedule. Mentally prepared for a long wait but surprised that I was taken in early and out of there in under 30 minutes. Feeling lucky, and near the DMV, I thought I might chance it and did a drive-by to see how long that line was or if there was even a parking space in the spacious lot. Only 20 people in line outside so I decided this was my day.

We're all followers and tend to get in line where ever there is one which is what I did. Nobody to tell me for sure what the line was for but after 15 minutes, it was obvious it was the line to get inside the building to get in line for the number to be helped. Surprisingly, it was just another 15 minutes to secure that number and form to fill out. Then I was directed to another line, an off shoot of the  appointment line. This DMV employee was not so nice, and had attitude but I was determined to smile and nod. She took my form, asked me why I had filled it out for a House car license and a regular license? I plead ignorance that I didn't know what a House car was, but I drove a car and lived in a house so I checked that one too. She started laughing and said she had no idea what a House car was either, and neither did her co-worker. Got my number- sadly #103 of non appointments.

 A nice man had been following me around the place going line to line and sat next to me. We compared numbers. His was 93. In 5 minutes, his number was called and my hopes sored, thinking this is a good day and I will soon be out of there .

An hour later, I am calling friends and family to let them know where my  skeletal remains could be found if they were looking for me. Hunger pangs set in and I had eaten my last mint. The baby next to me had a box of Cheerios which was looking pretty darn sweet . The people are calm. No one is really talking. It's relatively quiet for having hundreds of people sitting about . Lot's of quirky folk and strange wardrobe choices. A pair of middle aged twins dressed in purple with red hair and all exposed skin covered in body art were pretty entertaining and I wanted to ask them why the tattoo of lipstick kisses on their cheeks and throats? And why would you pierce the back of your neck? That just seems uncomfortable. Do they sleep with those studs in?

It's 3 o'clock. Why didn't I eat lunch beforehand? My stomach was growling as loudly as the cowboy snoring behind me.  The place closes at 5 so worse case scenario is I  only have 2 more hours.

My number is paged, I leapt up and secured the temporary license. Time investment.....1 hour 50 minutes.

Running out of the place, I did pause and look around for a ribbon or sticker, a confetti parade,  as some sort of reward for keeping calm and quiet . I feel very lucky to get out of there under 2 hours. Hope I don't have to go back, but if I do, I'm bringing a picnic basket and a better book to read!