I'm off to visit my friend SAM with my bestie VISA

I'm off to visit with my friend SAM with my bestie, VISA.

Sam's is one of those warehouse stores where you feel extra special because you pay a hundred plus dollars a year for the privaledge to enter their store as an "exclusive club member", and buy toilet paper in a case of 70 rolls or a 25 pound bag of rice for a slightly reduced cost than what its sold for at the market.

There's an entry "guard" who checks you for a current Sam's club card  before you're allowed to grab a basket and to make sure there's no person sneaking in behind you without sufficient I.D. and laminated card! A "guard" is also stationed at the exit who glances over your receipt and marks a line through all the charges. This is so make sure that you haven't stolen any thing or to assure the checkers put through all the junk on the bottom of the cart and onto the receipt. You also get to feel very special again by standing in this line to be given permission to leave. Very much like security lines at the airport. 

The store doesn't have bags. Just as well because every thing there is sold in bulk and only 1 item may fit into a bag. If you're lucky, you find an empty box, not too big, because you can bet its going to be filled to the brim and you'll need a fork lift to get it out of the basket and into your car.

The last time I was at SAM's, the exit "guard" took my receipt from me and looked at my giant tote and cold storage bags zipped closed and proclaimed, "I don't do bags". Whatever. Kinda defeats the purpose of the check but it's no big deal. I know I'm not a thief, but I certainly didn't feel special! What if this was the day I began my criminal  life?

I also ran into an acquaintance there who came up to me and congratulated me on my retirement. I also congratulated him and find out he's there as an employee now to fill his boring retirement days with some kind of activity and a little extra cash. Hmmm. Good plan. I asked him what the job was? He brings in the baskets from the parking lot and helps people to their cars with big ticket and heavy items. I point to the 30 lb. of tri-tip and 50 lb. bag of dog food and ask if he's going to help me to the car?? Laughing, he says "No. It's more for like a couch or a pallet of soup."

Oh brother! I told him the bags were manageable but as usual, the checkers fill up your boxes until they overflow and then start balancing the rest of the giant containers of food on top of that. The dog food is balanced precariously on top of heavy detergent on the lower rack. I'm going to need a spinal replacement after unloading all my junk!

I really dread the trip to the SAMS alone. It takes longer to unload the cart into the car and from the car into the house and then trying to fit 3lb. bags of Cheetos and tortilla chips, ( enough to feed an elementary school), into the cupboard. And what do you do with the 6 dozen eggs and 2 gallons of milk? How many people live at my house? Why do we fall into the SAM's Club / Costco of excessive purchases? I saved $10 but will gain 10 lb. trying to eat through all the food that couldn't make it into storage spaces. Once you're in the store, you are sucked into the idea that over purchase and excess are the only ways to go. Besides, the store always stocks an item that you never thought you needed or wanted, or in most cases have never seen before. How did my children ever develop normally without the 8 foot square inflatable floating play island or a full sized movie popcorn machine? We love to float! We love popcorn!

I've said it before and now again. I hate to grocery shop and shopping in general. When I go I want to make it count and limit it to 1 store. I never purchase ice cream there because it only comes in giant boxes or huge plastic gallon containers that would never fit into my freezer. This day, I found juice bars. . . only 32 small ones in a sizeable box- but manageable. Of course, I start meeting people that I know and have to chat a minute, but I kept saying, "I've got to get going. I've got ice cream".

(Now I know an easy exit line everyone can identify with. . . and NOBODY  wants to see good ice cream bars melt!) After the third friend, second employee and the acquaintance who wasn't going to help me out of the store, I made it to the car with the ice cream, now doubting it was still a solid after out of the freezer a full hour and another 15 minutes until getting it home safely into mine.

Last chance enticement items line the exit . Just in case you thought, "Dang! THAT'S what I want!"

I passed on the Patio gazebo, the giant 4 foot wide  innertubes for wave riding, and the cases of Mikes hard Lemonades- Which I now regret! Hoping to not see the inside of a SAMS or a Costco for another month!

Ready for a hundred people for dinner and ice cream for 32. I should be good for at least a week.