Lost in IKEA

It's been a long time, years even, since we have visited an IKEA store.

There's something  inviting about the clean lines of the Sweeds, and touring the mini cube houses displayed there, and it's always nice to freshen up on my Sweedish now and then.

Our own home would have to be described as anything but modern or streamlined. I had an interior designer claim it was decorated in the Contemporary style. Perhaps this was a nice way of avoiding  saying it resembled "mid-century clutter" or "Hod-Podge Décor". All the same, visiting the Swiss store gives hope for some sort of mess management and clean living.
 

I have friends who make the IKEA trek yearly, spending an afternoon there, having lunch, enjoying Swedish meatballs and fish. Sorry. Passing on that experience, hating both, and throw in the tasteless cookies along with it. I'll just fill up on cheese and the cardboard like crackers.

As we drove into the parking lot of the Costa Mesa IKEA, we wondered if there was some sort of event occurring as there was no parking in the Disneyland sized parking lot. This just made us all the more determined to fight our way into the store to see what bargains we might be missing out on, and secured a parking spot only a block away from the entrance. We exited the car and followed the legions of people into the store. I picked up a stray cart on the way in to use as handbag carrier and walker. That was mistake 1.

There didn't seem to be a clear entrance into the store, and the elevator up didn't seem large enough for my enormous cart, so we made our way to the other end only to discover this was parcel pick up and no show room access. Back to the other end of the store and decide to cut through the check out ...Mistake 2.

We wander around these aisles for awhile, wondering where all the housewares and junk are?  Continuing our progress toward the expansive ground floor, we find our way going against the people flow until we finally find our way into the show rooms with the "good stuff". Mistake 3.

The place is packed. Obviously, this IS the event for families to visit IKEA on a Saturday afternoon. There are hundreds of people here, all pushing along various types of carts and bags. We are trying to find where the entrance to this place is. Obviously we have come the back way, continuing our meandering through the crowd and following the many exit arrows that indicate store flow, but doing it backwards.  Mistake 4.

We kept seeing stuff that we liked but passed on because we were determined to find the beginning and follow the arrows like we were supposed to. Mr. Man picks up a plastic squirt bottle and tosses it into the giant cart I'm clinging to and we continue our backward search. Tough shopping against the flow of the people. Yes, we received many disdainful looks, but our determination to find the beginning buoyed after hearing a couple other shoppers ask sales people where the exit was or how to get out?  (Pride kept us from asking where the entrance was) Mistake 5.

Mr. Man suggests we start marking knotches in furniture so we'll know if we came this way before. After more than 30 minutes of this upstream fight, we find an area full of shopping carts like I have. A helpful lady asks if we would like one. "NO!" I abandon my cart, and the spray bottle and we progress up to a second floor where we find the beginning of this massive place.

Thankfully the restaurant, rest rooms and more baskets reside here. We have arrived. Reset the mind to start again after taking a break . NOW we are doing it right. As we make the show room rounds, admiring how streamlined and clean every thing looks, we decide this is never going to be us. The aisles are like the 91 freeway, and clog to full stop. Screaming children demanding stuffed monkeys and plastic colorful cups. I'm ready to call it a day.  Exiting,  following the arrows.

 

Passing up all the glass ware, bedding, pillows that appear flat before they're ever used and furniture that requires assembly.  We pass a knotched  wall divider. Mr. Man claims we've been here before, yet it doesn't look familiar from this direction. Pushing our way downstream, we finally get the store flow. Oh, and there's a map of how to find stuff......at the beginning! THAT would have been a useful little pamphlet. 

Seeing the exit light ahead, we get to the cashiers. About 50 of them processing hundreds of people pushing giant cart loads of everything. IKEA doesn't have bags. You have to purchase them. No problem . We don't need a bag. That spray bottle fits just fine in my left hand!

Total time in IKEA- 1 hour , 20 minutes.
Time spent lost- 30 minutes.
Total amount purchase- $.99
Time of planned return- 3 years, or until I learn to like fish paste. . . (smorgaskaviar) 

Note to self. ......... re-read this BLOG!

A little stroll through the south.

I have just returned from a little trip to the south. Starting in Virginia, we drove down to Charleston, SC , then to Savannah, Georgia and ended up in Pensacola, Florida.  The trip was to incorporate as many new sites  as we could during the recent naval relocation of my flying sea monkey.

We took the poor man's tour in Charleston and acquired a AAA travel book with a detailed walking route outlined in it. We found parking easily and only 2 blocks from where the tour began. The book was handy with its detailed information about the historic significance of the buildings and the various sights. It was a pleasant adventure, and one we could share with my grand-dog. After hour 2, the heat became stifling and we were out of water. Only 95 degrees. No biggie. We stopped in a memorial park and sat in the shade, but the panting just got worse. Luckily, the Charleston Historic Preservation Society was across the street. The ladies there welcomed us into the very nice store, giving us water, snack, and restroom access. The place was air conditioned to 68 degrees. A delightful place. I stopped panting. . . .and so did the dog. I credit them for saving me from heat stroke. We weren't really on a time schedule, but needed to be in Savannah before dark so we could find our way. 

On the road from Charleston to Savannah, I began counting the number of exploded tires left along the roadside. Some were intact, some were shredded tread. To be sure, there is some problem with tires and southern road touring. From Charleston to Savannah, I counted 107 "dead tires". Unbelievable luck of the motorists to lose a tire out there in the middle of the freeway in the heat of the day! I began to worry about the state of our tires and we became determined not to be numbered amongst the dead tire count!

Arriving in Savannah was like driving up to a movie set. The trees dripping with the Spanish moss, the steamy streets and the smell of the grasses. The many homes with wrought iron gates and balconies were beautiful. We had a bucket list of things to see and do here and only 1 1/2 days to do it all. We got started right off the bat and drove through all the historic districts, narrated by the AAA tour guide book, and found ourselves eating dinner at Leopold's ice cream parlor. Who doesn't love ice cream for dinner? Totally worth the wait. The line went out the door and to the corner  , but it went fast. We tasted 6 flavors and settled on 2.

We took a paid guided walking tour with Savannah Dan. He is a native to Savannah and grew up with a passion for the city's history. We did a 2 hour walking tour around 4 of the town squares, hearing the in depth history about the residents who walked these same streets in the 1700's.

 

During one of the stops for a lecture, a young lady fell flat on her face, overcome by the heat of the day. My brain switched to nurse mode, but not as fast as the sea monkey's. She thrust her tote bag, back pack, camera, and dog into my arms and ran over to the fallen girl. Proud of her as she acted as a first responder, and seeing that the girl was pale but breathing, I stayed back with the bags and the barking dog. Sea Monkey got the pleasure of removing the chewing gum out of the girls mouth and checking for pulse. Cool cloths were applied to her head and neck as her parents, who had been walking around with her, removed frozen water bottles from their packs and strategically placed them on their fallen daughter. 9-1-1 was called, and Savannah Dan continued his lecture, admonishing us to  drink water and wear a hat.

The group of us stood there and enjoyed a liter of water each before continuing.

My Sea Monkey was put out because I didn't beat her to the dropped girl . I explained that somebody filled my arms with bags, cameras and barking pets, so I would get the "next one".

I think we covered Savannah well for the amount of time we had. Surely there was more to see and do, however the heat of the afternoon was prohibitive. Definitely enjoyed the tour of the Juliette Gordon Lowe house, founder of the Girl Scouts. So many years of our life were spent supporting and acting as Scouts.

Our trips end to Pensacola, Florida was uneventful except for the 96 degrees weather accompanied by torrential downpour bordering on hurricane force.



Definitely will be heading to the south again. We were told a week after our visit that our Charleston walk was on the hottest recorded day so far. So now I can claim I survived and didn't have heat stroke.  The people were lovely and friendly. I surely wished we had been able to be there in the Fall or spring when its cooler.

So IF you go, wear your hat, drink lots of water and try to seek out the shade from the many trees lining the streets. And really absorb some of that southern food and southern charm.

Deal of the Day!

The neighbors had a garage sale day. 3 of them. I hate to have the sale, but love to look around at them. You never know what you'll find.

As I looked down the block, I thought it would be a good opportunity to meet and greet on a first name basis these neighbors who have only been driving by and waving. . . always pleasantly. They are at the end of my block so I don't usually have a reason to venture there on foot.

Meeting them was so nice! We talked for 2 hours. None of them had met face to face before either , and it was happenstance that their sales were on the same day.

I spotted something wonderful at each of their sales, focusing on mid-century furniture in fair shape. One had a super heavy, solid birch dresser in need of refinishing and TLC. I don't really need another dresser but when she told me $10, who could pass? (Large mirror included).

I was really interested in her buffet piece, but it was too large for me to put in my house, and much too big to store in the garage which is already too full for comfort. I thought the buffet price was $200. The other neighbor had a smaller one in better condition for $250.  I bought the dresser and started texting potential co -owners. It was decided to go get the buffet and miraculous things could be done with it.

Excited to get a second largish piece of furniture, I walked back to the sale with cash. Getting ready to hand it over when the neighbor selling her own buffet pulled two drawers out of the piece and walked home with them. The seller said, "Oh, I thought you didn't want it and she decided she liked it better than the one she was selling herself so I sold it to her. " Ugh! Well, my own fault for not having cash in hand or reading the price tag correctly . . . the buffet sold for $20 not $200! Yee Gads!

Mr. Man was having a  fit telling me no furniture was going into HIS garage and something about asking him "permission" before buying anything larger than a shoe box. (cute that he thinks that I need to ask him first. I'll let him live with that delusional thought for a bit).

At first, he refused to be a part of  bearing  the dresser home.

Shrugged my shoulders and said I would do it with the men at the sale who already offered help.
"There is absolutely no room in the garage for it! No! "

Again, shrugged my shoulders and said it could sit outside on the patio and age a bit which would give it more character.

I pointed out that the dresser was solid, not veneered and constructed very well.  Repainted and cleaned up, it would be a great piece of furniture for the price of $10, adding that his eldest daughter was currently using her baby dresser with 3 drawers instead of a full sized one with 6 and most of her clothing is kept in piles surrounding the aforementioned baby unit. Wouldn't it be nice to give her something FULL sized and nice?

Reassurance that the buffet was lost to me, and would not be joining our garage collection, I walked down the block to retrieve my prize and Mr. Man followed, growling the entire way .

As we got to the sale, the other neighborhood men had gathered to tote their various pieces home and Mr. Man was handed a beer and welcomed into their lament club! He got a tour of the sellers recently redone flooring and kitchen remodel, met 4 new people and was actually cheerful as he was helped home with my new dresser!

All in all, not a bad day and we both benefited from it.

I don't even mind too much I lost the buffet to one of my other neighbors. If I'd gotten both pieces of furniture,  Mr. Man may have lost an entire gasket and start contemplating a serious crime upon my person!

Thank you neighbor. It was the best!

Eagle eyed for the next DEAL OF THE DAY! I'll be bringing the cash and wearing the glasses!

"BEETLEMANIA"

              

This is the summer that I have been terrorized by the Japanese beetle. . . you know. Those giant green and yellow beetles that have shells of rock, vary in colors of beautiful green and  serve no genuine purpose other than to scare the bejeebers out of those of us with bug phobias, and eat every flower and plant in its path.

Last summer I wrote about friends running widly into their car, burning rubber and driving madly away leaving me to fight off the Beetle alone. (still harboring feelings of abandonment Mrs. C!) Truly, I know it isn't going to eat me alive and cause me harm, but I assume it could change it's eating habits at any time and start craving blondes. All the same, it strikes terror into my soul and I switch to kill and bludgeon mode to keep the things off of me.

Yes. I've heard all about how saintly this beetle is. How beautiful it can be. How striking it is when flying and as big as a small hummingbird but much louder. . . . and yes, I have heard the stories about tying strings to its leg and using it as a kite, a parade balloon, riding along with it on your bike, etc.

This doesn't change my opinion of the bug.

The horrid things have turned my Crepe Myrtle tree into a beetle metropolis and the Ficus trees lining my back wall as the new nation of Japan.

I was looking into ways to obliterate the beetle easily and cheaply. I also don't want to coat my yard in pesticides as it hopefully is a haven and habitat for honey bees, butterflies and hummingbirds.

Turning to the reference of the mighty Internet, I have discovered the easiest way is to mix a solution of dishwashing liquid and spray it on the lawn in the spring to force the beetle grubs to the surface and become bird food. Too late for that one.

But get this. The most reliable, cost effective and easiest method to remove these beetles is to HAND PICK them off the trees and plants. I bloody don't think so! If I can't bear to have them buzz bombing me, I certainly am NOT going to touch them!~!!

So - I have been finding dozens of these beetles floating around in my pool every day, clinging to leaves and debris, pool floaters and sweeper hoses. They have spikey legs and are tough to make let go of a net. Because they tend to swarm towards me, and attack, I carry a skimmer net with me in the pool, using its handle as a bat and net to remove bodies, and refuse to get into the pool if any beetle remains floating around. After I get a nice grouping of the damn things, I throw them into the bucket of soapy water and abandon my net. Mr. Man's job is to rid us of their carcasses and empty the pool skimmer of them daily.

As I'm enjoying pool life and sunshine with friends, the beetles dive bomb me, and every one tells me they won't hurt me; however, they're screaming and running/swimming in each direction. One got caught in my hair. . . my worse nightmare, and wouldn't get off- no help from my "friends" poolside. Extracted myself apart from the beetle and began using my pool net as the Sword of Shannara, hacking at them and determined to beat them into a pulp. Somebody suggested I had anger issues, however, the "Somebody" had secured a safe spot to observe and be protected from beetle bombings far from the pool.

As we sat around the table eating al-fresco, a horrid beetle hit me in the back of the head, then proceeded to get its legs stuck on my tank top strap. Unable to flick it off myself and feeling it scratching to get uncaught, I plead for help from my table mates only to watch their mouths gape open screaming that it's on me, one choking on carrot bits, but no assist coming from them! Thankfully, Mr. Man rescued me, flicking the beetle off, bludgeoning it to death and telling me again, it is nothing. . . . only to see him scurry away from the secondary attack of beetle bombing on his way to the trash cans!

I would post a photo of the beetle here but can't bring myself to mar my blog post with it. After the recent traumas, I'm not watching the movie " Beetlejuice" again or listening to any BEATLES albums.

If you want to participate in a BEATLE MANIA, come on over. Not a fan but I scream like one!

Just keep swimming

My blogs took a little vacation so I could gain focus on my health and well being.

As I have declared many times in the past, I vow to make this the summer of change!

Physically, mentally, spiritually.

Reflecting back on the many fails in all these areas only convinces me that this has to be it. 2016. I may die trying but try I must! Failure is not an option. I have seen the light. My ego has taken its last swipe and downfall. I will plod along alone if necessary but I will plod. . .  while dragging weights behind me.

It's always better to have an exercise partner to keep you on the path of thinner and better and also to keep your whining and failures in check. Also, somebody to be accountable to for your time and days spent working out and continue to be faithful to the exercise regime.  I've seen and tried almost every workout there is and am repulsed at going to a gym and having to see my reflection in a mirror dripping sweat, gritting teeth and grunting to no one in general. Having a private trainer was a dismal fail and only making one of us better themselves and gain financial freedom. I don't respond well to shouting, bullying, fake encouragement or "give me 5 more".

I know what needs to be done. I did this to myself. I put bite after bite of mostly delicious food into my mouth and swallowed. I hate to sweat and due to a jacked up knee with no cartilage left in it, I can no longer walk long distances or use stairs. My 4 mile walks are but a memory now and so is any muscle mass accumulated during that period of my life.

There are no longer excuses that I have to be at work, volunteering or cleaning out the closets to be used to avoid the morning workout. Here I am. It is time. I've taken to a pool swim every morning before the sun is fully up and begin the 1 hour workout followed by the laps. At least there is no sweating and there is a time crunch to be fit and sleek due to water cooling as the fall approaches.
Even better, there is absolutely no judgment or comment about swim gear, forgotten hair trimmings and obvious lack of hair grooming on my part. Any one who wants to join us must adhere to these simple rules. . . . and bring their own towel.

My water buddy and workout companion is in the same boat as me but has the advantage of youth. She too is highly motivated and inspirational. We embarked upon our weight loss adventure on a whim and have kept it up for a month now. I love her so much because she reminds me that "We are HOT! We work out! We are going to be Accawesome! Our Earthly bodies will be almost as good as our heavenly ones!"

She's also not opposed to shouting and spouting obvious sentiments to God above . . . .   i.e.- "These kicks are the DEVIL!    Lord! Help me DO this! " Yup. We never forget to thank God that we are even able to have the option to exercise as choice and that every single day is a blessing. Praying through the tough parts is part of the day too. Sometimes, I think its the only thing keeping me afloat.

As I struggled to complete the last pull up on the board , I kicked my feet for extra boost power and was empowered after the success. . . although I was certain a stroke would overtake me at any moment. Definitely saw a flash of light and dizziness .

I keep feeling my carotid for any irregular heartbeats because with all the panting and grunting going on, it seems inevitable that the heart will just give up and take a permanent vacation. Week 4 and we are still good. We are getting better so we add more sets and weights. The heart rates have to be kept up so we switch up the routine to do it.

Am I ever going to be skinny??? Never.
Am I ever going to wear a 2 piece again? Nope
When I strut down the street, are heads going to turn? Doubt it.
But it's all okay. I am going to be okay with it. I'm not doing any of this for any one but myself. I don't need affirmation or congratulations from a soul. It's all me and for me.
Only 100 lb. more to go.
Only 20 more pounds to go before I can eat a chocolate cake and gallon of milk for my first tier reward!
Come find Nemo with me. BE the Dory! "Just keep swimming.......just keep swimming"
I'm out at the pool and the water is just fine!

Welcome summer.

First Official day of summer hit us southern Californians hard!

News channels warning us of  record heat and to prepare for a lot of it!

Our first official day of summer was hot. Keep in mind it's supposed to be hot here. We live in a desert valley and experiencing a 7 year water drought. Shockingly, it has never been THIS hot this early into the summer. August is our hot month. NOT mid June!

Hotter than Hades.

Hell on earth.

Man, is it hot!

Melt the CD's in your car hot.

Worse day for the car to break down on the freeway hot.

Shoes stuck to the asphalt hot.

Out of control fires surrounding us hot.

Sweating while you're swimming hot.

We all spent the day texting the photos of our digital thermometers, doing it multiple times as the thermometer kept going up and up. "Look at mine. It's 110degrees in the shade!" , "Now it's 114 poolside, and 118 in the full sun. 120 on our pavers." This went on between friends and relatives throughout the state to compare. Demoralizing to see it was only 68 degrees in the northern coastal towns at 4 pm compared to our 116 degrees at the same time.

We put on our fire retardant gear and boots just to get to the pool water without incinerating or suffering spontaneous combustion. (I don't want to be one of those poor people who burnt up sitting on their couch watching TV and the only thing left of me is my lower legs!).

Friends from Palm Springs came to Corona to escape the heat. Dismaying to them..... 122 degrees in Palm Springs Ca. and 114-118 in Corona. Barely noticeable. Once it gets over 110, it all feels about the same. Guess what that is??? HOT!

Heat is expected here. Not this melt on your way to the car heat. Forget walking anywhere or you may pass out. No shade trees available in this town along frequented roads. The city removed them as water conservation measures 2 years ago. I am very thankful for having a swimming pool I can afford to keep full of water. Floating in it at 8pm was delightful, even if the water temperature was 82! (that's with sun on the water surface only heat). I've enjoyed some of my best meals eating in the pool.

Today, the weatherman says we are in for a cooling trend for a week .  So mild and relaxing. Barely noticeable. It's only 100 degrees today. Yay! Now it's just HOT, not HOT HOT.

-Drink lots of water.

-Keep your pets in shade with cool water.

-Save your pet rabbits. Bring them inside.

-Do not leave the house without footwear or your feet will fry on the sidewalk.

-Check your garden. Anything that was green and starting to ripen yesterday is ripe and needs to be eaten today,

-Do not leave anything in your car that you care about. This would include pets, children, or groceries.

-And what I have said a million times to every mother with an infant. . . . If you are hot in shorts and a shirt, then your baby will be too - DO NOT wrap that kid up in a blanket when its this hot! In fact, don't even make the baby go outside and have to be packed into a hot car seat or stroller.

If you are coming to California to go to Disneyland, prepare yourselves for the hottest adventure of your lives. . . . . guess what? ITS HOT THERE! WATER COSTS $4 a bottle. wear a hat and sunblock. Leave your small children at home or in a cool hotel room with a nanny!

Welcome summer. I guess it's gonna be HOT!    Now go and drink a big glass of cold water!
                                                      

"Oh hun, you've been dirtied. . . "

Having recently traveled by plane already this year, I have to congratulate myself for being such a calm traveler, despite my traumatic experiences at airports. Although internally, I am a knot of anxiety, outwardly I am calm. The picture of serenity.

Local Television news has nightly warnings about airline travel for the remainder of the year. . . . . and probably forever!. . . that security lines will be long and timely. What's new?  I don't think I've ever cruised through a TSA line in under 1 hour and now that its 2 hours plus long, well, I guess you'd better go to the bathroom, eat lunch and hydrate just before getting into the line. Once you're in it you're  committed!

Each time I'm getting ready to fly, I relive each bad experience and pray that I'm done with them and can fly in peace. Actually, only three of my nightmares happened on the plane, and the rest during pre-boarding and TSA lines. (This is when I could use a handful of anti anxiety meds.)

Very, very, fortunately, I have never been in a crash landing or in a hostile situation.

Preparing for more air travel in the coming months, I try to think positively about how to avoid airport problems. Some just are not preventable. Example. . . . .

I run to the restroom just before boarding the plane. I've got 5 minutes, tops. The plane has begun to board.

 In the bathroom stall next to me, a girl is vomiting and wretching. Poor thing. Hope she is done with her trip and send her sympathetic thoughts.

 I open my stall door and the girl is just coming out, turns around to return to the toilet, but vomits all over my feet and floor. Of course, I'm wearing sandals. I am dumbfounded.  I hear my plane is closing its doors imminently. Last call.  Running out of time! The bathroom attendant is right there STAT with a mop.

 She says,  "Oh, hun. You been dirtied! Let me help you with that."

 Grateful and thinking something the opposite from what happened next, she takes her floor mop, dunks it in the nasty bucket water used to mop up unmentionable nastiness, and proceeds to mop my feet. I am stunned. The horror of this ultimate contamination is inconceivable! Gagging, I push her away, and stumble to the sinks to wash my feet but I'm now hearing "doors closing, last call" for my plane.

 No time for a foot bath or shoe sanitization. I spot the paper towel dispenser and start waving my hands in front of it until I have a 5 foot strip. Run out of the bathroom for my flight trailing the paper towel like a white banner behind me.

Mr.Man hadn't boarded the plane without me but was seriously pacing as I ran up to the gate. We find our seats, buckle in and I remove my sandals to begin the cleanup process. Mr. Man shakes his head at me and says, "Why does this stuff always happen to you?"

Heck! I don't know, but the only solution is to amputate my feet, burn the shoes and hyperventilate. None of these options were viable so I cleaned up using my $4 bottle of water and my flimsy paper towel banner. I asked the flight attendant for a case of Handi-wipes, then fretted about the germs crawling up my legs  and soaking into my skin. 

Obviously, I survived . This wasn't my first vomit encounter on  feet, ( I am a pediatric nurse for cryin' out loud), but before I had actual shoes and socks on, with access to a shower and clean clothes! I tried my best to keep my toes spread apart so they wouldn't touch the others until my feet cramped up.  A nice foot bath would have been nice. Do they offer those in first class?

Oh the woes of travel. These little side adventures just keep it quirky and fun, right?  Now I carry extra shoes, baby wipes and hand sanitizer in my carry on. The sandals were tossed in the trash as soon as I accessed my second pair . I kept the feet.

Use this as a cautionary tale.  Get to the airport early. A whole lot early.

You never know what will happen before your seated on the plane.