The dreaded TSA line

I enjoy traveling. Well, let's say I enjoy going to a new place and experiencing what it offers...then I want to go home.

I really like getting places fast and there is no faster transportation than an airplane. I like to fly. I love to fly. My angst is the airport itself and getting through the TSA line. After I have parked myself by the gate, I am good to go. 

It really isn't unusual to have a fear of flying, or of crowds. I have none of that. My great stressor is getting through the security check and having enough time to get to my plane, without having to hoof it a quarter mile to the flight gate and beat the current distance run record. 

Mr. Man hates to wait for flights so he times his arrival so that sitting by a gate to get onto the plane  isn't even an option. He likes to keep moving and get on as the gate is closing, therefore, not having to wait or lose a precious minute. I don't mind waiting at the gate. I would rather wait so I can collect my thoughts, distress and look like flying around the U.S.A is a daily habit. (God help me if I fly internationally. What will THAT do to me?).

On my last trip, I had many prayer warriors, and friends texting me words of encouragement and hope, praying for travel mercies and safety.  They seem to understand that airports and security lines are my greatest angst. We all have our little quirks and stressors and this is mine.

I was traveling alone this trip. Demanding  Mr. Man to take me to the airport 4 hours before my flight. We compromised and left 3 1/2 hours, allowing 1 hour and 30 minutes for travel to LAX. Well, we made it 50 minutes, which was a good thing because I was detailed searched and my carry on bags emptied and searched, x-rayed 3 times and it was certain my bag would be glowing from all the radiation! When I got the bags back, my wallet and cell phone were gone, oops! and TSA had put them in their little bowl and "forgot" about them. I was instructed to find a bus which took me to a remote airport 10 minutes from the main terminal, showing us the backside of LAX and luxurious private jets not meant for us, and had 20 minutes to settle down before my flight boarded.

So, okay, I made it on. A little inconvenienced and stressed but I made it. The 3 hour drive after the flight to my final destination was a breeze and I had 3 days before having to do it again to go home.

Returning to home sweet home came sooner than I thought it should, but again, returning the rental car the 3 hours back to the airport was a cinch.

As I entered the departure terminal, there was little signage about where my plane was going to be. Finding the one digital screen at the entrance, I made note of the gate and headed to the dreaded TSA line. Heart beating faster as I approached, I was nearly there when I noticed my Drivers License was missing, sliding out of its protective sleeve meant to protect and secure it. OMG! Recovering the ninja warrior buried deep within, I leapt over and under security tapes, slid down the stair case and broke into a gimping middle aged girl run with flailing arms and baggage bumping along behind not sure of which direction the wheels should turn, Why hadn't I taken up marathon running?

Retracing my steps toward the entrance I was trying to calm myself from becoming a hysterical person and truly considered laying down on the floor and wait for the EMS to take me away. Hyperventilating, I felt my blood pressure rise to stroke level and my vision blurred as I panted and sweat throughout my search.

Dragging my luggage all the way back to the entrance, there was my ID, on the ground face up, right in front of the departure screen I had looked over 20 minutes before . I watched as strangers trod over my image not noticing the importance of the ID and with inner reflection of their own battles to gain entrance to the flight gates.

Retrieved the ID and I fell into a chair, and raised up a thankful prayer that I had found the one thing that I needed to get through the dreaded security line and homeward and also that I avoided having a stroke, seizure, apopletic fit, hysteria or heart attack.

As I made my way back to the security line and scrutiny of the officers there, I was asked to step out of the line, and into a vacant check point. Anxiety returning, I was like a lamb submitting to slaughter.

Here is the happy side. I had been tagged very low security risk due to the extensive search leaving LAX  4 days before, and got the free pass through the screening and prodding! Walk on through, do not stop, green light and GO!

Sitting outside my gate with 1 hour and 15 minutes to spare, I had a cold drink, washed my face, took an aspirin ,used the facilities, ate a snack and chatted on the phone. Yes, I did appear to be a seasoned traveler. Outwardly calm and content. The essence of peace. My inner turmoil dissipating as flight time approached.

Once again, as I travel home on the plane, I'm pleased to be going back to my life that I try not to take for granted and hoping that the people waiting for me realize how beloved they are to me and it's never as much fun without them.

And the best: There is Captain Morgan, barking and smiling at me, running around in circles, batting me in the legs with his Frisbee, ready to begin the game where we left off.

There really is no place like home!